Joel, This is a great story. Thank you for sharing it. My hope is that one day we'll hear parents nagging their gay children the same way they do their straight ones. "When are you two going to stop living in sin and get married? When are you going to give us some grandbabies?" Best wishes to you and Mitch.
hemp lover
JoinedPosts by hemp lover
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30
My Gay Life
by joelbear init seems millenia ago that homosexuals dared not declare that fact about them out loud for fear of being imprisoned, beaten to death or at least ostracized by society.
true, some are still ostracized, some are still beaten but more and more they are simply becoming a part of the social fabric of families, communities and society as a whole.. was it just 1969 that a handful of drag queens decided enough was enough and refused to meekly be led off to jail for the night simply for socializing with each other in a bar in new york city.
i was 11 years old when that happened and was just beginning to understand that i myself was a homosexual.
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Luv Sexy brother Nelson
by SixofNine inthe ex and fosl went to see brother prince tonight.
he's doing alot of his old stuff, he's suggestive and sexual, and he wears high heels as ever.
if any of us had done this stuff with a garage band, or even worn high heels to the mall, lol, we'd have been df'd in a heartbeat.
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hemp lover
Yes, very suggestive, God bless him. I highly recommend seeing Prince while you still can - before he gets scrubbed down and whitewashed. One of the best concerts I've ever been to.
-- Mother of FOSL
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42
A letter to the Parents
by SixofNine ina friend gave me permission to post this.
i think it's a good letter, it might help others formulate their thoughts; she understands it may not be read or considered deeply, but things can't get much worse with her family at this point anyway.
no contact is not that much different than contact once per year or less, and sometimes it's just really important to have the people who should know you, at least know you a little.
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hemp lover
Just wanted to send a belated thank you to everyone for their kind remarks.
WillyLoman, what you said was very interesting and really gives me hope.
Writing this letter really did help me. I was wallowing in anger and bitterness, but after I got (almost) everything out that I wanted to say, it was easier for me to let go of the negativity more than I ever had before.
I try to remind myself of how brainwashed I was after 30 years. I can?t imagine what it must be like to be in for 60 years, like my parents.
Some of you requested an update as to whether or not I received a response. My mom sent a card that thanked me for the letter and said they would be writing and/or calling me.
Unfortunately, before my parents could respond to the letter, they found out that my mom?s cancer had returned after two years and is now in her lungs. Her doctors have given her a positive forecast and she just started chemo and radiation two weeks ago.
Not to be too macabre, but at least we?re talking to each other again for regular health updates. It was very strange to hear my father?s voice for the first time in two years. Neither of us acknowledged how long it had been since we last spoke, just had a normal conversation like we talk to each other every day. He told me he had been saving his vacation days so they could come to visit their granddaughter and me, but instead he had to use them all driving my mom back and forth to the hospital. That was very unexpected and good to hear (not the hospital driving part, the other thing about coming to visit).
I sent my mom flowers a couple weeks ago, timed (coincidentally [not]) to arrive on my birthday. She must have written to me the second she received them because I got a card two days later which said that she had just returned home from her first chemo treatment and what a lovely surprise it was to find the flowers waiting for her, how she had been thinking about me all day, how it was snowing that day, just as it was 37 years ago in the blizzard of ?67, etc. She went on to reminisce about how she had to ride to the hospital on a snowplow when she was in labor with me (still have the newspaper clipping) and how happy they were to have a little girl. It?s the closest thing to a birthday card I?ve ever received from them.
All that?s happened, including our conversations, in the past month has made me realize that I need to ignore the label the JW religion has given me. It?s THEIR label, not mine. Even after my mom recovers, I?m going to call and talk to them whenever Ihave the urge. I truly feel in my heart that they would never tell me they didn?t want to talk to me once they heard my voice. Guess time will tell on that one...
Anyway, thanks again to everyone for the support you've given me over the last few years (even though you don't know me since I never post).
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anyone from Belvidere or Rockford, IL?
by LuckyNun ini'm trying to find david hunter.
we were in the same congregation in belvidere, il.
i ran away from home when he was in bethel.
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hemp lover
very small world, indeed. the jw world, that is. i remember Debi and Eric. i think Eric played drums in my brother's (Chrissie's ex) garage band.
is Chrissie still df'ed or did she get sucked back in?
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anyone from Belvidere or Rockford, IL?
by LuckyNun ini'm trying to find david hunter.
we were in the same congregation in belvidere, il.
i ran away from home when he was in bethel.
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hemp lover
I don't know David Hunter but my ex-sister-in-law was from Belvidere. Do you know Chrissie Gomez?
Ex of 6 of 9
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51
Gleaning at Bethel
by Black Man inwant to see bethelites act like greedy scavengers?
just check out the tail end of bethel family breakfast, lunch or dinners.
for those not familar with this phenomenon, gleaning was when bethelites could basically bring their tupperware dishes down and store up on the leftover meals once the family was dismissed (usually by prayer, except for the bethel dinner).
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hemp lover
We visited my uncle many times at Bethel when I was a kid and one year (I think I was 8, so 1975?) a black brother named Willy showed me how to eat barbeque ribs. There's a picture of us with bbq sauce all over our faces in a family album somewhere.
Could this be THE Willy Walker?
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45
Where were you?
by joannadandy in.
sorry if this has been done to death, i only did a quick scan and didn't see a topic like this, so i appologize in advance if this was started someplace else.. this morning i woke up and thought about where i was last year, and the complete shock i felt at this same time last year...and i was just wondering if any of you had those same feelings this morning.. so where were you?
i always find stories of what people were doing at the time they heard to be really interesting-please share if you'd like.
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hemp lover
My 10-year-old daughter and I were on vacation in NYC, staying in a hotel about 25 blocks uptown. I was awakened by what I thought was thunder, looked out the window and saw blue sky, and then the sirens started. There are always sirens in Manhattan but this was different. Turned on the TV and everything from that moment through the next three days was surreal.
Walking through the city with jet fighters doing fly bys overhead
Standing outside CBS with hundreds of people and watching the news on giant TV screens while "It's a Small World" was playing at FAO Schwarz right next door
Trying every f***ing pay phone in the city to get through to my ex and let him know we were okay
Going into my first church ever (St. Patrick's Cathedral) and sitting in the old wooden pew and feeling relief and peace
Getting caught in the middle of bomb threats where cops are literally screaming "Run for your lives!" with people stampeding out of buildings (once in a restaurant the next day, twice at Penn Station while trying to buy a bus ticket home)
Finally getting out two days later, leaving the driving to Greyhound all the way back to Texas
Looking back one last time at the ruined, still smoking skyline as we crossed into New Jersey
My parents actually called me in the hotel on 9/11, guess this qualified as an emergency. One of the first things my mom said was "14 JW's died in the towers today." I responded, "THOUSANDS OF HUMAN BEINGS DIED TODAY." She dropped that line of conversation pretty quickly.
I wish I had gone back this week. I wish I could have stood in Manhattan and listened to the bells tolling this morning.
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Femininity, God, Satan & a Truck
by SixofNine inthere have been alot of post about feminity.
i am sharing a bit of writing done by my daughter.
my 10 year old daughter.
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hemp lover
I realize this post is a couple days old but I haven't been online in a while because I've been hanging out with the amazing 10-year-old who wrote this. (She's my daughter, too. I home school her and she refuses to write the compositions I assign, but that's okay because she comes up with stuff like this instead.)
Thank you all for your comments. I'm a little verklempt with pride right now.
Six, you should post her previous essay, "The Mormon Crickets."
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THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS THING SOMEBODY TOLD YOU
by minimus inwhat's the most outrageous thing that you were personally told ,while in the organization??
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hemp lover
You can't eat Count Chocula cereal because vampires are demonic. (Thanks, mom.)
Satan invented the Internet. (Thanks again, mom.)
And my favorite: When I was df'ed, some loving sister told my 6-year-old daughter that if I died, I wasn't ever coming back.
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To: Ex-JW Women - Your Side
by Amazing inex-jw women: i, and i assume other ex-jw men, would enjoy hearing your views, opinions, feelings, analysis, and conclusions about your jw experience.
how did you feel about your husband, fathers, brothers, elders, ms's, and other women in the organizations?
did you generally feel oppression, and why?
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hemp lover
Well, here goes . . my first post. cherry no more.
I love this thread. I've laughed, I've cried, I've completely related. thinker's wife, andee, billygoat, i've especially appreciated your comments.
i've watched smart, funny, brave women subjugate themselves to men who in many instances couldn't match wits with them for my entire life, well at least until May of 1998.
One memory that haunts me is seeing the mother of my childhood best friend summoned to rub her elder husband's feet every night (or at least every time I was there), "WOMAN! FEET!" If she was busy, oh, i don't know, cooking, cleaning, scrubbing, etc. for her five children (oops, six, counting hubby)then it fell to one of the other females in the house OR they got a lecture about submission. She worked full-time outside the home as well, but if she didn't cook a dessert with the meal every night, then Jehovah disapproved of her. He used to make fun of my father and encouraged his children to do so as well when he found out that my dad actually cooked and cleaned on occasion. She was encouraged to stay with him, of course, through physical abuse as well, but after 25 years, she finally left. It's women like her I think of (and there are many) when I read these posts. Earthy, aware, and just as much or more going on upstairs than many people who happened to be born with penises instead of the other option.Other than being hit on occasionally by "brothers" who thought I was easy because I wore skirts that came to my knee or an inch or so above it, I never personally experienced the misogyny until I turned 19 and made public my childhood dream of going to Bethel. I was rejected on the grounds of being born a female.
Thinker's wife: "It wasn't until I really officially left the organization that I really started feeling like a real person that could truly add some meaning to my life and to others whom I touched." Amen.
Andee: "I wonder if it is not the most opinionated, and perhaps, intelligent, that suffer the most? We woman tend to internalize our anger and frustration, so I suppose I should not be suprised by my observation. It's also not surprising that the depression lifts upon leaving." Amen again. As devastating as it was to leave, an incredible burden was lifted from my shoulders. No matter how much you do, it's never enough. It IS true that the intelligent suffer the most. As my ex-husband, SixofNine, (a genuinely good person who happens to have a beard . . . BAD, BAD) once said after a cheerily inane comment by a particularly vapid sister, "Stupid people are happy."
Okay, i'm stopping now. I must away with myself to partake of a "cigarette."